Not Happy…

… is what I am now.

My life sucks… FUBAR doesn’t even begin to describe it. And yet I put on this happy, everything is fine face. It’s stupid, stupid, stupid!

I shouldn’t even be writing this here, but hell, it’s 4am, I’m depressed and I need the release!

I’m falling behind with my work out of sheer laziness. I recognise the signs and symptoms, but inertia prevents me from doing anything. I need a good swift kick on my butt, but in the US, everyone is too damn PC to do that. I need my mom to twist my ears and give me a good talking to. I’m too embarrassed to call her up and tell her that!

Where is this going? Where am I going? I honestly don’t know. I’ve been happy-go-lucky, follow-the-default-path for too long now. Maybe I can still change, but it’s not happening now.

Why can’t someone pay me for doing the things I like to do? Fat chance of that happening, because the things I like to do are reading, watching movies and surfing the internet. And of course, writing inane blog entries.

Look at my reading list on the right. It hasn’t changed in over a month. Wanna know why? I keep finding more books to read and never finishing the ones I’ve started!! And I’m too lazy to change the list on

It’s Thursday and I’ve already been waiting for the weekend for over a day now, when I can be lazy and not feel guilty. Am I self-destructive? I think so!

Oh, damn, it’s 4:20am… I’m due to teach a class at 11:30am. I end this here.

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